How to Deal with Food Pushers
For the few people who don’t know what a food pusher is…. A food pusher is a person who leads you to unplanned eating. They push food that is typically higher in calories and often not the healthiest options. Quite often they push food to make themselves feel better for their poor choices surrounding their diet.
But I’m sure we’ve all been there, right? We just started our new nutrition program with our coach. It’s been a couple of weeks and you are crushing it! The scale is going down and you’ve never been more motivated. But next weekend is your parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. The entire family is going to be there, including that one judgemental relative who always seems to be watching you like a hawk when it comes to what you are eating. You know the one I’m talking about. They often make comments like:
“You're so skinny! Take more. You don't eat enough!"
"But I made these treats especially for you!"
“You can let loose for one day, can't you?"
"Eat some pie! You're making me feel guilty for eating it!"
The thought of having to deal with these endless questions and comments is exhausting and makes you not even want to go to the event. But of course, you want to be a supportive daughter or son, but you also don’t want to fall off the rales and lose all of the results you’ve achieved because of the peer pressure from Uncle Ken.
It can be a bit stressful and extremely overwhelming. I totally get it! I come from an Italian family, where if you don’t eat lots of the food that your Nonna slaved away making all day, it’s considered rude.
So, what the heck do you do? Do you have to sacrifice your progress and happiness to please others around you?
And the answer is, no!
Well, that’s a lot easier said than done.
Hear me out. You don’t have to let your emotions get the best of you and tell your entire family to shove it. There are some effective strategies that I have found to be helpful when it comes to maintaining your results during special occasions, keeping the food pushers away and actually still enjoying yourself.
First thing is first. I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself what your timeline is for your fat loss goals. This first step will allow you to decide how flexible you are able to be during the special occasion.
For example, if you are a competitive bodybuilding, 3 weeks out from your show or you are trying to drop a weight class for your powerlifting meet in 5 weeks, there’s an increased need for accuracy and consistency. This goes for the general population too. If you have a wedding dress you are trying to fit into in 6 weeks or a photoshoot next month, accuracy and consistency are extremely important, where your level of flexibility (especially when you are consuming foods that haven’t been prepared by you) is limited. On the other end of the spectrum, if you are still focusing on fat loss but are more relaxed with the rate of fat loss that is obtained, your need for accuracy goes down and ability to be more flexible goes up.
Now if you fall into that second category, I would take things a step further. Ask yourself which special occasions are really special to you, where you just want to focus on being present and enjoying your time with those around you and which special occasions aren’t really all that important to you where you don’t really feel the need for the increased flexibility. The reason I recommend looking into this is because if you don’t, it can be very easy to have something “important” comes up every single weekend, where it could start to stale your results because there’s too much flexibility and accuracy is next to none. So, it’s important to pick and choose carefully so you can enjoy yourself within moderation versus every single weekend. Just because you are more relaxed with your fat loss goals, doesn’t mean that every single weekend is a freebie.
Now let’s quickly go over two strategies that you may find helpful when it comes to staying on track at these special occasions
Option 1 — save up your macros and guesstimate the macros as best as you can during or after the event
This is a good option if you want to be more conservative and reduce your risk of seeing a scale weight fluctuation. I would recommend this strategy for those who need to prioritize accuracy over flexibility.
Option 2 — save up your macros and take the evening off from tracking
This is a good option if you are going to a special occasion and you just want to be present and enjoy yourself. It’s ok to take a break from tracking every once in a while and eat intuitively. But you need to be ok with the trade off and that is you MIGHT see the scale go up. If you are ok with that, then there’s nothing wrong with choosing this option. But to be safe, maybe avoid the scale for a couple of days after the event until your body has some time to normalize
Option 1
Here are the steps involved
1. Plan ahead!
Try to decide what you are having before you get there (if you can)
• Google the restaurant's menu
• Decide what you want
• Account for the macros in your day
I would account for the macros of that meal in advance and then plan and adjust the rest of your meals for that day around the meal for the special occasion. If the macronutrients aren't available, simply Google the nutrition facts of that recipe and use the macros provided by a different restaurant.
2. Save UP your macros.
If you are going out with friends and are not sure what is for dinner, save up your yummy macros - fats and carbs - for the evening and eat most of your protein during the day. Chances are dinner will include carbs and fats and not a lot of protein. Try to save around 100g-150g of carbs and 40g-50g of fat.
3. Enjoy yourself!
Carrying around a food scale is not practical & is guaranteed to have the food pushers attack. Try to eyeball portions & overestimate the serving sizes when in doubt.
Options 2
Here are the steps involved
1. Save UP your macros.
The same concept here applies, as I discussed in step 2 of option 1. If you are going out with friends and are not sure what is for dinner, save up your yummy macros - fats and carbs - for the evening and eat most of your protein during the day. Chances are dinner will include carbs and fats and not a lot of protein. Try to save around 100g-150g of carbs and 40g-50g of fat.
2. Don’t track the macros when you go out to eat.
Try to focus on grabbing lots of fruit, veggies, high protein and drink lots of water. Stop eating when you feel physically full versus mentally full
3. Enjoy yourself!
Again, the strategy you choose comes down to what you are willing to accept as your trade off and what your current goals are. If you are prepping for a bodybuilding show, it’s not that you can’t eat out. But selecting a higher protein and micronutrient dense meal should probably be your choice over a lasagne. And perhaps having a Coke Zero instead of a glass of wine.
But what about the food pushers? Well, I think by you firstly coming up with a strategy versus just winging things at the event, like we just discussed, puts your mindset and focus in the right place. Regardless if you want to be as accurate as possible or chill out a bit more at this event, coming up with a game plan like this keeps you focused on you and your goals and may just allow you not to worry so much about the judgement from others around you.
That doesn’t mean they won’t attack. So, what else can we do when we are actually at the event? Here are a couple of strategies I have found to be helpful.
#1 Be thankful and consistent
If a food pusher is offering you food, say thank you but don’t be afraid to follow that thank you with a no. “Thanks, but I think I’m going to start with a salad. Thanks, but I think I’m going to finish my drink first.” Even a “Thanks but no thanks.” They don’t need a reason. Just because someone is offering you food does not mean are not required to eat what you don’t want.
Now when it comes to being consistent, it’s vital you stay consistent in saying “no, thank you.” I can guarantee that food pushers will ask you more than once if you want that slice of cake. If on the 3rd, 4thor even 5th try, you still say no, then they know you mean business and will likely move on from you and find someone new. I don’t care how many times they ask, if you don’t want what they are offering you, hold strong and keep saying no. Because the second you say yes, they know how many times they need to ask you before you cave. But if they cave and move on before you, you are likely to break that cycle from Uncle Ken.
#2 Don’t draw attention to yourself
I honestly find trying not to draw attention to yourself can be helpful. That’s not to say you can’t talk to your friends and family about your goals and your new exciting fitness program that you are on!
But pick your audience.
Often there’s always that one person who starts to mock you saying “are you allowed cake on your new fitness program?” When the food pushers don’t know that you are on a program, they don’t have as much to say.
#3 A white lie never hurt anyone
When the food pushers are in full force trying to force feed you mashed potatoes, maybe a second piece of pie etc. but you know that you didn’t account for potatoes or a second piece of pie doesn’t fit within your macros, choose your words carefully. Versus saying “oh I can’t have that” don’t be afraid to say, “maybe in a little bit” or “my tummy is a little upset right now” or “I’m waiting for my food to digest a bit before round two.”
Often when we say “oh I can’t have that” that’s when the food pushers attack with the questions (especially when they do know you are on a program):
· “Why can’t you have that?”
· “Oh, come on, one bite won’t hurt!”
· “You don’t even need to lose weight.”
· “You can afford one more piece.”
· “Why is your program so restrictive? Let loose” etc. etc.
But by telling a little white lie, it tends to take that attention off of you.
#4 Always have a drink in your hands!
Amongst the food pushers, there may be an alcohol pusher lurking around. So, if you accounted for one glass of wine, be sure to savour that glass! If you always have a drink in your hand, it allows the alcohol pushers to carry on their lurking to others who don’t have a drink in their hands.
#5 And my final piece of advice… don’t be afraid to have an adult conversation.
I get that most of us don’t like confrontation. “That’s just Uncle Ken, he’s always been like that and it’s not going to change.” That may be so, but that’s not a reason you can’t set some expectations, boundaries and voice your opinion as to why that behavior makes you uncomfortable.
I understand that this strategy is not for everyone, and that’s ok. My grandma is set in her ways too, where I myself will keep implementing the preceding strategies when needed.
Implementing the previous methods can be extremely effective with keeping yourself off the food pushers’ radars. But at some point, it can become tiring and may even start to take the enjoyment out of the special occasions, where you really start to dread those events or worse, stop going.
At that point, it might be worth having a conversation with that person. You can tell someone in a calm and collective matter that you don’t appreciate it when they comment on your nutritional habits.
I look at it like this…
When you go shopping with a friend and your friend tries on a cute lululemon hoodie and you say, “awe you should get it.”
What do you do when your friend says:
“Nah, not today. Nah, I don’t like it. Nah, maybe next time.”
You respond by saying “Alright” and move onto the next store.
You’re not telling people how they should spend their money. Because we all know that telling someone how to spend their money is rude, private and just naturally not something we tend to do. So why are people’s food choices any different?
If you say no to someone’s offering of a piece of cake, there should be no other answer than “Alright” and moving onto the next person.
Plain and simple.
Sometimes this simple analogy opens up the food pushers’ eyes where they think “oh crap, I never thought of it that way.” By being brave enough to have these tough conversations, it helps break the trend of making someone feel guilty for saying no when someone offers them food.
Yea, you know what? These conversations don’t always work. But at least you can say you tried and just hope that that person one day realizes that their behaviour, even if not intended to, is often doing more harm than good. Because feeling guilty over something that really doesn’t affect the other person is not a productive way to spend your time. So, don’t be afraid to take a stand and try to break the trend.
Hope this was helpful!
Coach Krysten